Category: The Office Quotes

Learn how to take off a woman’s bra. You just twist your hand until something breaks.
— Michael (and Dwight), Ben Franklin

Things to teach your son, #8. #HappyFathersDay

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
— Kevin, Beach Games

Summertime, and the livin’ is easy…

The only cure I know for the Monday blues is Varsity Blues.
— Michael, The Coup

If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about?
— Creed, Gossip

Happy World Oceans Day, everybody!

Michael: Okay, so let’s put together a starting line-up, shall we? Stanley, of course.
Stanley: I’m sorry?
Michael: What do you play? Center?
Stanley: Why “of course”? What’s that supposed to mean?
Michael: I don’t know. I don’t remember saying that.
Jim: Uh, I heard it.

Michael: Hey, there he is! Secret weapon!

— Basketball

Stanley the Manly.

Damn it, Meredith, where are your panties?!
— Kelly, Casual Friday

Meredith takes Casual Friday to a higher level.

Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, ”Would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing.
— Dwight, Business School

How to be successful in life.

I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat.
— Pam, Dinner Party

Pretty much how I feel every four hours or so. #AlwaysHungry