Two pieces of news:
- First of all, congratulations to Matt (22), Alison (116), and Katie (134) for winning the Creed Bratton ‘Bounce Back’ giveaway! I’ll be sending an email to y’all shortly.
- Second, Creed wanted to give OfficeTally readers a sneak peek at his groovy new website, www.creedbrattonbounceback.com! Listen to tracks from his latest CD and watch some vintage Creed videos (including his jammin’ performance in The Office Season 2 episode ‘Booze Cruise’). Let’s defrost in a romantic mist, baby!
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“Oh,ho…which one is Pam?”
I’m a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing, I like to go in the women’s room for number two. I’ve been caught several times, and I have paid dearly!
I know exactly what he’s talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.
“Which ones Pam?”
[about “whomever”]
“Michael is right. It’s a made-up word used to trick students.”
As a student, I couldn’t agree more!
Ah … so many to choose from! But I’m going with one from The Job:
“Au naturale, baby. That’s how I like ’em. Swing low, sweet chariots.”
What is wrong with this woman? She’s asking about stuff that’s nobody’s business. ‘What do I do?’ What do I do, I do here. I should have written it down. ‘Qua’ something. Quaaa. Quarr. Quab. Quall. Qwer. Quobbity! Quobbity assurance!
I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60’s I made love to many, many women – often outdoors in the mud and the rain – and it’s possible that a man slipped in. There’d be no way of knowing…
I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.
Which one is Pam? (From the Secret)
In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it’s possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
I love EVERYTHING Creed says, but for sheer “what?” factor, I have to go with:
“When Pam gets Michael’s new chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only one to go.”
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.
“Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared.
His name? Creed Bratton.”
You don’t go by monopoly, man! That game is *nuts*! You don’t just pick up “Get out of jail free” cards! Those things cost thousands!
“Ditto to that my brother”
What is wrong with this woman? She’s asking about stuff that’s nobody’s business
Gotta agree — “Au naturale baby, that’s how I like ’em. Swing low, sweet chariots.”
“I know exactly what he’s talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.”
Hey brah, I been meanin’ to ask you… can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy’s gotta ride ride the Bull, am I right? Later, skater.
of course the best part might be how he looks during this quote. :)
“Oh, I steal things all the time. It’s just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago.”
Hiya Pumpkin, it’s Creed. So, we’re going to ditch this bitch, you in? Are you out? [Angela hangs up] Pumpkin’s out, let’s go, gang!
From “Job Fair”
What’s a text?
Creed Quote: “Which one is Pam?”
Just thinking back on my favorite lines has me smiling! But this one sums up Creed’s total obliviousness…
“Which one’s Pam?”
I remember it was very late at night, like 11, 11.30. Big fella comes in screaming about God knows what; I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute grabs a can of hair spray and a lighter…
“Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.” -Creed stole the episode (Frame Toby)with that line :)
In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it’s possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
Hey, brah. I’ve been meaning to ask you. Can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy’s gotta ride the bull, am I right? Later, skater.
i love later in the episode when Michael says there’s no toner in the printer… and they flash back to Creed’s hair… tops the entire scene off! =]
Which one is Pam?
Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator.
“Is any of this real?!”
(responding to the complaint that he has a distinct old man smell)
I know exactly what he is talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.
[Conflict Resolution]
Creed Quote: If I can’t scuba, what’s this been about? What have I been working toward!?
“You’re not real, man!”
In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it’s possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
“Tell her, it’s for Creed; she’ll know what that means.”
“Swing Low Sweet Chariots”
“That wasn’t a worm.”
Man, I am just totally cracking up reading everybody’s quotes!
Creed’s DA MAN.
What’s a text?
A lot of jazz cats are blind. But, they can play the piano like nobody’s business. I’d like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses and see what happens. I’d also like to see her topless
Angela (referring to how much she paid for Princess Lady: Seven thousand dollars.
Creed: For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.
Hahahaha! I LOVE CREED.
Later skater!
“Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to (holding up passport) Williams Charles Schneider.”
“Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider.”
I like the “Which one’s Pam?” line. But my favorite has to be:
[Angela picks up her phone]
Angela: Extension 128.
Creed: Hiya Pumpkin, it’s Creed. So we’re gonna ditch this bitch. You in?
Angela: No.
Creed: You out? [Angela hangs up] Pumpkin’s out! Let’s go gang!
I’ve changed my mind like four times now but I’ve decided to go with this little nugget that was truly one of the key moments that made me a fan of this show.
Jim: He obviously forgot to get me something. And then he went in his closet and dug out this little number, and then threw it in a bag.
Creed: Yup, that’s exactly what happened.
Oscar: Hey, where’s Dwight?
Creed: You didn’t hear? Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.
Jim: I’m pretty sure none of that’s real.
Creed: You’re not real, man!
“Let’s call Jan and fight this thing together like the old days.” (from “Halloween”)
He just sounds like such the outlaw here!
I really want to win this contest :)
I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.
When I was a teenager, I was in an iron lung.
[From The Injury]
Creed: “Say hey, I want to set you up with my daughter.”
Jim: “Oh, I’m engaged to Pam.”
Creed: “I thought you were gay.”
Jim: “Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?”
Creed: “I don’t know.”
This is tough to pick… either…
“When Pam gets Michael’s new chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only one to go.”.
or
Michael: “Well you know what Jim, it is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist.”
Creed: “That’s not why.”
Creed: Say hey, I want to set you up with my daughter.
Jim: Oh, I’m engaged to Pam.
Creed: I thought you were gay.
Jim: Then why would you want to set me up with your daughter?
Creed: I don’t know.
“The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did when I was a homeless man.”
“Is someone making soup?”
“Hi guys. Somebody makin’ soup?”
“Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.”
I remember it was very late at night, like eleven, eleven-thirty. Big fella comes in, screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute, grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter-
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.
My favorite Creed moment is not a quote at all, but an entire scene. It was during the episode “Murder.”
Creed walks into work late and says “Sorry I’m late, boss. What’s going on?”
Michael, in his hilarious southern gentleman accent, replies “Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect.”
Creed quickly surveys the scene and responds with “OK. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and I’ll be right back.”
We then see creed run for his car and speed away.
To me, this perfectly sums up Creed, and made me laugh the hardest I had since I saw his face when Oscar fell through the ceiling in the opening of the Super Bowl episode.
Okay, there are many, but the way Creed delivers this line makes me crack up every time.
“In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors. In the mud and the rain. And it’s possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.”
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.
Creed Bratton: Today is actually my birthday and I want to pick the cake.
Jim Halpert: What do you want?
Creed Bratton: I want pie, I want peach pie.
Jim Halpert: Well birthday pie.
Creed Bratton: I want a nice cobbler.
Jim Halpert: Well, I’m gonna talk to Angela and we’re gonna see what we can do about a pie.
Creed Bratton: I don’t care who you talk to you just make it happen.
Jim Halpert: It’ll be Angela.
Creed Bratton: Tell her it’s for Creed; she’ll know what that means.
“I’m personally not offended by homosexuals. In the 60’s, I made love to many women, mostly outdoors…in the mud and the rain. It’s possible that at some point or another, a guy slipped in there. There would be no way of knowing.”
Best Creed quote ever! I love you Creed!!
It’s so hard to chose, but, here is my favorite:
To Rose the CPR trainer: “You were in the parking lot earlier. That’s how I know you.”
I LOVE Creed!
My favorite quote from Creed would have to be
“I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s I made love to many, many women – often outdoors in the mud and the rain – and it’s possible that a man slipped in. There’d be no way of knowing”
However, my favorite scene with Creed would have to be during the fire that Dwight starts in the office. There is a moment when Oscar falls through the ceiling that you can see Creeds face in the background and the expression he is making is priceless. It is hilarious! Me and my girlfriend die laughing every time we watch it.
“What’s a text?”
hmmmm…. so many options….okay here we go:
Kevin: “Jim has got it bad for Pam”
Creed: “Oohhhh…Which one is Pam?”
This isn’t really a line, but I love it when Creed eats the raw potato. :)
Who’s the OBGYN?
Casino Night: “I just love stealing things.”
“That wasn’t a tapeworm.”
Such economy and randomness and mystery!
Michael Scott: Okay Ryan, you told Toby that Creed has a distinct old man smell?
Creed: [to film crew] I know exactly what he’s talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.
You’re not real!
Creed: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?
“What is wrong with this woman? She’s asking about stuff that’s nobody’s business! What do I do? Really, what do I do here. I should have written it down. Qua-something … qua-, quar-, qua-boh-quaaaaal-, quar-, Quabity! QUABITTY AUSCHWITZ!!! No, no-no-no, but I’m getting close….”
“I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.”
I find it offensive. Au naturel, baby. That’s how I like them. Swing low, sweet chariots.
“I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.”
Michael: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?
….
Creed: Fright. Being scared to death.
Oscar: Hey, where’s Dwight?
Creed: You didn’t hear? Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.
Jim: I’m pretty sure none of that’s real.
Creed: Your not real, man!
I’ve quoted that last line many times.
I remember it was very late at night, like eleven, eleven-thirty. Big fella
comes in, screaming about God-knows-what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen
his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with
nickels, then Schrute grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter-
Angela:
You’re useless.
Hey brah, I been meanin’ to ask you… can we get some Red Bull for these things? Sometimes a guy’s gotta ride ride the Bull, am I right? Later, skater.
I’m a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in women’s room for number 2. I’ve been caught several times, and I have paid dearly.
Nothing! Nothin’ goin’ on. We’re talkin’ about nothing. Come on gang…
“Bonnie Hunt is on.”
The way the camera zooms in on Pam and Oscar after Creed suggests, “Have you tried making everything smaller?” makes me laugh every time I think about it. As does the fact that Creed wanted to go throw things in the Quarry with Jim.
“When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only one to go.”
“The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive…like I did when I was a homeless man.”
“Which one’s Pam?”
“Yeah, and I finished my work months ago!”
“Quabity Ashewitz.”
Creed: Baby. You want to play with this?
Karen: You can’t give paper clips to a baby. He could swallow it.
Creed: Oh, it’s okay. I’ve got tons of them.
“The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did when I was a homeless man.”
“If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about?”
Ever see a foot with four toes?
Creed: Hi kids.
Creed: Have you ever seen a foot with four toes? [begins untying shoe]
Kids: Ewwww!
Michael: What are you doing? N–stop it! Stop it! Just–no, no, no, no! No! Would you cut it out?! What is your problem?
Creed: Th-the hair covers it, mostly.
Michael: No no no, we’re not gonna see the four toed… Creed, okay?
“I’ve been involved in a number of cults both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower but you make more money as a leader.”
Phylis: “7 grand for a cat??”
Creed: “I could get you a kid for that.”
Andy: I seriously doubt that anyone from Cornell dated you.
Creed: It’s pronounced Ker-nell. It’s the highest rank in the military.
Andy: It’s pronounced “Corn-ell!” It’s the highest rank in the Ivy League!
“What is wrong with this woman? She’s asking about stuff that’s nobody’s business. What do I do? …Really, what do I do here? I should have written it down.”
Jim: Oh, I think you’re supposed to put a toy in the box, Creed.
Creed: And a Merry Christmas to you, too.
Michael: OK, Ryan. You told Toby that Creed has a distinct old man smell?
Creed: I know exactly what he’s talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.
When I actually met Creed at the Office convention I told him that I loved mung beans too.
“I’d like to say hi to my friends in China… Guo Du, Cheng Guo Du, peng you, ni hao.”
– Creed Bratton (Dwight’s Speech)
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.
“Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator.”
“I’ve never owned a refrigerator before.”
Creed: [Creed pulls into the parking lot and goes into the office] Sorry I’m late, boss. What’s going on?
Michael: Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect.
Creed: OK. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and I’ll be right back. [Camera to parking lot: Creed jumping into his car and racing away.]
“Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to Williams Charles Schneider.”
“have you tried making everything smaller?”
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.
Good night, Mary Beth!
“Swing low sweet chariots.”
Creed: Oh, I steal things all the time. It’s just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago. You should see how many supplies I’ve taken from this place. Honestly, I love stealing things.
My favorite Creed line is when is gives a shout out to his friends in China (Wode zhongguode pengyou nihao) and gives them a subtle salute!
Creed-“Have you ever seen a foot with four toes?”
i’d also like to see her topless
I remember it was very late at night, like 11, 11:30. Big fella comes in, screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter—
It’s been posted before, but it’s gotta be:
“I’m not offended by homosexuality…In the 60s I made love to many, many women–often outdoors in the mud and the rain–and it’s possible that a man slipped in…There’d be no way of knowing”
Creed is the man.
“I find it offensive. Au naturelle, baby. That’s how I like them. Swing low, sweet chariots.”
“That wasn’t a tapeworm.”
Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider.
“I know exactly what he’s talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious, but they smell like death.”
“You were in the parking lot earlier. That’s how I know you!”
“You’re not real, man!”
“Sometimes a guy’s gotta ride the bull, am I right? Later, skater.”
“Just pretend like we’re talking until the cops leave.”
Creed: “Somebody makin’ soup?”
My favorite line has to be from gossip; it just topped all the other nonsense that was going on with the fake rumors:
“If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What am I working toward?”
PERFECT.
I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60’s, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors… in the mud and the rain. And it’s possible a man slipped in. There would be no way of knowing.
“I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties I made love to many many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain. And it was possible a man slipped in, and there would be no way of knowing.”
“That wasn’t a tapeworm.”
A lot of jazz cats are blind. But they can play the piano like nobody’s business. I’d like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I’d also like to see her topless.
What a GREAT contest!
This contest is now closed to new entries.
Winners announced soon!