“Every Breath You Take” (Track 1): “It’s about a guy who loves this woman so much he can’t stop staring at her and following her around. True love.”
“Opposites Attract” (Track 2): “Who’s the luckiest guy in the world? That animated cat from this video, who got to dance with Paula Abdul.”
“Pride (In the Name of Love)” (Track 3): “This is the best song about a break-up I’ve ever heard. But every time I bring it up in the office, people start talking about Martin Luther King. What is the deal with that?”
“Take On Me” (Track 4): “I love pretty much everything A-Ha ever did. But this is their best.”
“In Your Eyes” (Track 5): “Remember in The Breakfast Club when John Cusack holds up the boombox? Awesome. I did that to a girl once in the rain, and my boombox shorted out. I got pretty badly burned. Whatever. Let’s move on.”
“Why Don’t We Get Drunk” (Track 6): “‘why Don’t We Get Drunk (and Screw).’ ‘Nuff said.”
“My Humps” (Track 7): “A really great new band. You heard it here first — they’re going to be huge.”
“Faithfully” (Track 8): “Try to listen to this whole song without crying. I dare you.”
“The Chanukkah Song” (Track 9): “I know it’s supposed to be ‘romantic songs,’ but, sorry — I just had to. Most hilarious song ever.”
“Mambo No. 5 (A Little Bit Of…)” (Track 10): “This song is so true.”
“Tainted Love (7″ Single)” (Track 11): “A harrowing song about the dangers of STDs. Use protection, people.”
“Baby Got Back” (Track 12): “I love hip-hop. This is old skool hip-hop, before it got all commercial.”
“Don’t Worry, Be Happy” (Track 13): “That’s my motto.”