We’re still about two months away until the next new episode of ‘The Office.’
In the meantime, you don’t mind if OfficeTally runs a few more giveaways and other distractions, do you?
Didn’t think so. :)
Okay, two words came to mind when I first looked at this photo: caption this.
Task: caption the photo above in 20 words or less. Your caption must be Office-related. Submit your caption in a comment below. I will personally choose the winner.
Prize: the winner will receive The Office DVD Wall Calendar. Yeah, I know we’re already two months into the new year. I’m a little late.
Restrictions: eligible entries must include a valid email address, and correct spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Duplicate entries will disqualify you. If you’ve won a calendar during a previous giveaway, you are disqualified as well. US and Canada only, please.
Deadline: submit your entries by Wednesday, Feb. 20th, 11pm PT.
Winners:
- kreidy: Dwight’s panty raid to Camden took a turn for the worse.
- Fun_Run: OMG! Dwight Became a hooker!
- Jana: Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!
The photo is of a little sketch that Rainn did with Dennis Hopper for the Spirit Awards.
Why don’t we just deal drugs, or prostitute ourselves, and donate that money to charity?
As much as he tries, Dwight will never have the panache to wear women’s clothes quite like Michael did.
Still heartbroken over his breakup with Angela, Dwight tries playing for the other team.
Jim told me women live longer than men because they take more vitamin D. I intend to prove him wrong.
Even more secrets of a call girl?
This is why Chili’s has a policy about sneaking drinks off of other people’s tables.
Jim’s latest prank on Dwight went a little too far.
The OTHER interim job Dwight was forced to take to make ends meet before landing his job at Staples.
Yeah, I hid your stapler… and it ain’t in Jell-o.
This is traditional Amish garb worn by Schrute men, though, it does resemble the getup of a cross-dressing prostitute.
Agent Michael Scarn, you lost some weight.
Thank you for noticing.
Don’t be an idiot. Changed my life.
Looks like Dennis Hopper took the slow train from Philly.
(I feel so unoriginal, but it was the first thing that came to me!
…TWSS.)
Smells pretty bad, doesn’t it?
It’s called bull-crap. And a client can smell it from a mile away.
Show me the Schrute-Bucks.
Dunder Mifflin Number One Sales Man: Dwight Schrute, better then a machine
What’s a guy gotta do to earn some Shcrute bucks around here?
To drum up business for the beet farm, Dwight was forced to come up with some “creative marketing strategies.”
What happens at Schrute Farms stays at Shrute Farms.
You can’t fire me, I don’t work in this car.
It is the duty of an undercover volunteer sheriff to not shed light on any more penises, lest his cover be blown.
“The Staples job was a front. Dwight actually resorted to turning tricks for celebrities after resigning from Dunder-Mifflin.”
Dwight Schrute: Insatiable.
Dwight Schrute shown here on another secret undercover mission as given to him by his contacts “Pim and Jam” from the CIA.
…I bought a new dress! One of those kinds that is kinda low cut at top to show something…
Do whatever it takes to save the branch.
Still from Threat Level: Midnight set. Pictured are Dwight Schrute as Catherine and Dennis (stand-in for Creed Bratton as villian).
There are no words!
Pop quiz hotshot! You have to sell 50 reams of Dunder-Mifflin paper in one hour. How far would you go?
Fact:Cross dressing gets you a raise.
Proven by:Michael Scott.
Dwight’s panty raid to Camden took a turn for the worse.
No more wondering about Dwight’s vast knowledge of Liz Claiborne outlets…
Dwight Schrute: bound and determined to find the real mystery behind MISSterious’ summer collection.
Question: What kind of tube top is best?
False. Striped, mid-driff bearing tube top.
***
Fact: The convertible is a RIDICULOUS choice for this climate.
“I want it to embarass all other parties.”
“It’s not that I don’t trust your methods, Mr. Booth, but are you sure this will help me get Angela back????”
I’m thinking that next time you’re in the shower, you should check yourself out. You know, give yourself an exam. Those things are like ticking time bags.
How did Dwight use a soda can to shave his legs but not his face?
Dwight goes undercover to help Jack Bauer catch a terrorist (Unbeknownst to him, Dennis Hopper was only acting in “24”).
He needed to get to the beetfarm.
This is what happens when the writers go on strike. I guess Angela really is the man in their relationship.
If I have to do this, based on stereotypes that are totally untrue, you would maybe not be a very good driver.
“Reject (Dwight dressed as) a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their kind. Also, weak arms.”
Oscar isn’t the only one…
Staples gives Dwight something hard to sell
OMG! Dwight Became a hooker!
I live by one rule: No cross dressing, no way. Very messy, inappropriate…no. But, I live by another rule: Just do it…Nike.
Fashion show! Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!
Dwight shows that he will literally go to any lengths to meet the legendary Deacon.
(You had to have seen Waterworld.)
“Assistant to the Pimp”
Dwight’s parents had lied; his twin wasn’t resorbed. Candi Schrute had survived and was currently working as a call girl.
I was in a production of Oklahoma in 7th grade. I played the part of Mutey the town prostitute.
“Fact: When it’s not beet season, the Schrute’s have found side-jobs as courtesans to be both lucrative AND respectable.”
Jim convinces Dwight Dennis Hopper is a spy for Staples and that to get the information Dunder Mifflin needs to crush Staples, Dwight must go undercover as a Sunset Strip prostitute to lure the evidence from Dennis.
Zip your lid!
The tubetop belonged to Dwight’s grandmother. She was buried in it, so… family heirloom.
Dwight’s determination to win the ‘Bushiest Beaver’ Dundie this year is taken to the extreme.
What eventually happens to Dwight after peeing into a can on a sales call… if Meredith is driving.
Look, Officer, what was I SUPPOSED to do to make ends meet during the Writer’s Strike?
Question: Is a bikini wax required for my undercover stint at the sherrif’s office?
oops! Please disregard my last post —
Jim convinces Dwight Dennis Hopper is Staples spy and that he must go undercover to recover company secrets from Dennis.
Apparently Dwight does want to be like Shyla!
“Dwight’s long lost twin sister returns to Scranton!”
The beet sales were falling so Dwight consulted the teenagers that hang out on his fields on how to make a buck in the modern world
Break me off a piece of that man meat!
Dennis Hopper does not understand what Dwight spends his money on, either…
Dwight finally found someone who respected his volunteer deputy background. He also enjoyd Dwight a few other costumes…
Rainn’s “other” job during the Writer’s Strike.
After the slump in beet sales and companies going paperless, Dwight got desperate, you should see what mose is doing.
Phyllis wasn’t the only Easy Rider.
Stripes are whorish.
Put the top down then everyone can see us!
Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly…
Dwight shows Michael what the world would be like if he had never been born, “It’s a Wonderful Life”-style.
Due to the writer’s strike, Dwight did not receive his usual extra paycheck from the documentary crew. This is how he made ends meet.
Ryan might have started the fire but i can sense some sparks between us right now.
Do we have to disclose all one night stands?
What happens in Scranton, stays in Scranton!
thats what she said
“Beer me that water!”
After being evicted from the beat farm, Dwight finds new ways to rake in the cash.
Angela being with Andy has finally driven dwight into the arms of a man!
Rainn is evil, like a hobbit.
Are you wearing lady clothes?
Busted!: Dwight’s long lost cousin, Dwightella, with Michael’s cousin on their third date together!
Update!: No more office hookups allowed.
Looks like Dwight really would like to be more in tune with the moon and the tides.
As Dwight’s summer internship as a fudge packer at the Hershey Chocolate Factory comes to a close, he and his uncle celebrate.
The Office Reality Show: Dwight’s Dream Date #2
Oh, is Angela coming back today? I had no idea.
Dennis: Yeah, I gave him a ride home because … we’re dating.
Rainn: Wow. There it is.
Meredith! You really let that strike beard grow out.
The real parents of Angela: Dwight and Long Tim
The CIA actually did want Dwight for a secret mission. Crazy things can happen at ice cream socials.
I think I’ll pass on any access to her medical records…
Even MORE Secrets of a Call Girl.
I see, so you’re saying this makes me look fat?!
You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone
Am I particularly proud of the period between Dunder-Mifflin and Staples? No. But Schrute men are survivalists.
I don’t think this is just a women’s shirt. At the very least it’s bisexual.
Looks like Angela won’t be ‘taking a chance’ on this one any time soon…
Dwight didn’t expect Dennis Hopper to show up to drive him to the hospital when he started making Vietnam sounds.
“I don’t care if that’s how they consolidated power in ancient Rome…”
Michael: Happy Anniversary, Jan. Who would have known we’d still be together after 30 years.
Looks like someone got hit by the slow train to Philly…
I guess when the “gay-dar” went off on Dwight it was right.
Elder Schrute teaches the little ones how to detect homosexuals.
Has Michael gone too far this time? Making Dwight persuade a closeted Dennis Hopper to buy DM paper in bulk?
“Officer! I was just taking my wife to the hospital . . . she’s gone into labor and it’s caused her to grow facial hair. Could you, uh . . . direct us to the hospital?!”
Fact: Dwight was a volunteer sherriff’s deputy on the weekends.
New Fact: Recently, he has found another venue for “public service.”
Maybe we could go out for a beer sometime, and you could tell me… how you do that to another dude.
Turns out that Dwight didn’t resorb his twin in the womb. And just look at what he’s up to…
Excuse me, would you know which way to the Battlestar Galactica convention? He seemed to have left his costume.
I think Dwight is a hooker. Dwight is a hooker!
Dwight needed a job to pay off his medical bill from his visits to Dr. Crentist the Dentist.
Well, you know what Dwight? He’s your work boss, okay? He is not your relationship boss.
Don’t say cocks. Oh, what is your name, my fair lass?
Creamy skin. Straight teeth. Curly hair. Amazing breasts.
Secret secrets are no fun. Secret secrets hurt someone.
The nickname “Rainn” just sort of stuck from his street-hooker days.
Son, this is how you reach up a woman’s tube top.
Why take the “slow train to Philly” when you’ve got a convertible?
He did think Sebrings were cool. They just bring up bad memories.
If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides.
Dwight will do anything to get a celebrity endorsement for Schrute Farms Bed and Breakfast.
Jim and Pam’s next mission for Dwight was for him to be an undercover hooker. He went a little far..
What’d I do? I did my job.
Don’t believe in cocking people.
Cocking?
Sorry, coddling. Got penises on the brain.
Oh, no, I have a better one! Can I change mine?
[from tanster: sure, but you’ll be disqualified. :) ]
Finally, we learn the real reason Angela broke up with Dwight.
Now, that’s what you call a mid-life crisis!
Dwight and Mose, twenty years later.
Want to earn some Schrute Bucks?
Dwight would like your man meat.
Dwight: I’m Dwight. I’m the dancer that was requested.
Hopper: Okay. I specifically ordered a stripper.
Dwight: I’m the stripper.
Matt (I smell nice…like Tide)
PS…you can see it in the picture but Michael is in the background cooking up man meat on his foreman grill.
“Tit for tit.”
“That’s what Dennis Hopper said.”
My girlfriend and I broke up recently. And I must say, I am relieved. Gives me a chance to sow my wild oats.
What? The women in our office don’t know how to act like ladies; they proved that by writing that stuff about Michael in the “ladies room”. I am showing them how to act like civilized LADIES.
This is the last time…The strike is over!
Au naturale, baby. That’s how I like ‘em. Swing low, sweet chariots.
“If you submit less than 50 OfficeTally comments a minute, this car will explode!!”
Dwight seemed to have found another joint in the parking lot.
Dad?
State your business:
Beeswax: Not Yours, Incorporated.
After Angela dumped me, I… kinda stopped taking care of myself for a while, and… I hit bottom when, uh…
Want old clients back?
No need for enticement with technology or gift baskets.
Just do business…the old-fashioned way.
Dwight will do anything to be cast in Waterworld 2…
Meredith and Creed after driving into the fountain of youth. With the help of their built-in GPS.
The guy’s just hanging brain. If that’s flashing, lock me up.
Uncle Manheim, how much longer do I have to do this?
Quite you!
Ooooh I knew I shouldn’t have that vodka/ beet mixer. DO NOT TELL JIM ABOUT THIS!
Easy Rider 2: Electric Boogaloo
Sir, please step out of the car. We need to run a Gaydar test.
Which one’s Pam?
The best way to win Angela back is to win her dad over. And I’ll do what it takes….Jim! Get that camera away from here!
Will I trust Jim? Yes. Should I trust Jim? You tell me.
Basing his reconnaissance work on stereotypes, Dwight goes undercover to spy on the San Francisco branch.
Rainn: I’m the only one available tonight.
Dennis: Eff. Alright, what’s the damage?
So this is what gave Mose the nightmares…
Angela is so right, the clothes at Gap Kids ARE too flashy.
“My name is Dwight K. Schrute, the man to my left is the owner of Dunder Mifflin’s #1 competitor, and I will do ANYTHING to bring him down and save our company. That however does not include anything having to do with betraying my best friend/boss/mentor Michael Gary Scott, or entering into a banded brotherhood with homosexual men.”
Only the greatest volunteer deputy could fool a blind man like this.
With The Office shut down due to the writer’s strike, Rainn lost all sense of direction. His statement: “I’ve gotta earn a living somehow.”
Dennis Hopper stayed at Schrute Farms recently. You do whatever it takes to get a good review in TripAdvisor.
A tube top without a bra in a top-downed convertible is a ridiculous choice for Scranton’s climate in February.
Monkey! This is what happens when I get no cookie.
Wait, I thought this was a CIA co-op mission?
Assistant to the Regional Pimp
I picked him up laying next to a beet field on my way to a B&B, mumbling about a monkey.
That’s what she said!
Granpa Shrude, are we done playing prisoner-of-war games yet???
Bears. Boobs. Battlestar Galactica.
One word, two syllables. Prostitution.
Dwight K. Schrute: Undercover volunteer Scranton deputy
For ten dollars more, I’ll wax your car with beet paste.
Should I trust Jim? No. Will I trust Jim? I don’t have a choice.
You may ask me out to dinner. Nothing fancy or foreign, no bars, no patios, no vegetables, and no seafood.
Dwight Schrute makes a cameo appearance opposite Dennis Hopper in the new film “Agent Michael Scarn and the Overkill Killer.”
Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles. No tats. No… tats. Of course I want-
THIS is why children are “persona non grata” at Sandals Jamaica.
Damnit Jim!
Dwight auditions for Crying Game 2: Electric Bugaloo! :)
The package from Future Dwight contained a note: “Burn all your clothes and put these on. Board the convertible arriving at the corner of Lackawanna and Adams Avenues.”
Secret Assistant to the Easy Rider.
Something weird is going on; What did Dennis say? The Dwight Schrute Story by Dwight Schrute with Dennis Hopper.
All inclusive; you know what that means, hmrrm? mmmmm.
He needed someone to hold his stick. I’m stronger than a woman.
“We are dedicated to providing you with the very best customer service–the very best personal business relationship we can, if you ever decide to come back to us. Please come back to us.”
An Easy Rider and an uneasy rider return to Utica with an empty soda can and a variety of explosives.
Here’s my card. It’s got my cell number, my pager number, my home number, and my other pag-…GAH!
Pop quiz hot shot…what do you do when you can’t be a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff’s deputy?
Let’s play. I’ll be skins. Do you want me to put on my headgear, too?
Rainn: Does it smell like updog in here?
Dennis: *looks to the camera confused* What’s up dog?
Dwight: I am older. I am wiser. Do not mess with me.
this is what one schrute buck entails you.
Dwight, you ignorant slut!
Alpha male
insatiable
JACKHAMMER
Look at what you have done, Angela. Dennis and I are heading to Oscar’s party. Enjoy the photo! –Dwight
Does this tanktop make me look fat?
Dennis: That’s a nice top Rainn.
Rainn: Thank you. My grandfather was buried in it.
What? Yes, this IS our solution to success in an increasingly paperless world. And no, Dennis Hopper doesn’t know where he is right now.
DUNDER MIFFLIN: Sometimes, to sell paper, you have to go fast and take chances.
Yes, the Schrute family has a long, proud history of cross-dressing for the benefit of the human race. My great-great-grandfather, Cleophus Schrute, often wore a hoop skirt to help free slaves.
He was shot and killed though…
After the murder of Sprinkles and his break up with Angela, Dwight had to find an outlet for his pain. After similarly dealing with Pam in Stamford, Jim had suggested cross-dressing and riding in convertibles.
Lord, beer me strength.
Michael Scott director’s cut. Kelly: makeup. Oscar: costume design, obviously. Phyllis: celebrity wrangling.
Dwight as Sue Grafton: crazy hot!
This contest is now closed to new entries. A winner will be announced soon!