“Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.” — Jim as Dwight, ‘Product Recall’
This, my fellow Office fanatics, is what I hereby dub a Dunder-ku — an offbeat version of its namesake — the haiku.
A Dunder-ku consists of four words, three of which must alliterate (start with the same letter).
The goal of this contest is to come up with your own Dunder-ku, describing any character on The Office.
How to enter
- Create a Dunder-ku according to the requirements above.
- Add your Dunder-ku in a comment to this post.
- One Dunder-ku entry per person.
- Spelling and punctuation count!
- Please include a valid email address.
- U.S. residents only, please.
Examples
- Pushed around Pam-puppy. (Toby)
- Hysterical. High maintenance. Hussy. (Jan)
- Ryan’s dumpster-diving ditz. (Kelly)
Deadline
- Submit entries by Saturday, July 14th, 11pm PT.
Prizes
- I will choose my favorite 20 entries. You will get to vote on your favorite. The top three vote-getters will win a prize!
- Prizes will be awarded waterfall style: the top vote-getter will get their choice of three prizes, the second-place vote-getter will get to choose from the remaining two prizes, and so on.
- Prize choices: Dunder Mifflin cap, This is Pam t-shirt (size L), and I Heart Jim t-shirt (size XL).
- Prizes graciously provided by the NBC Universal Office Store.
i thought it was “bear beats battlestar galactica” have i been wrong all along?
Roy: Drunkard. Dangerous. Dumped.
Angela: Dwight’s Bodacious Beet-Bosom
Question: Can all four words begin with the same letter?
Yes — but only three are required.
Perennially pining for pretzels. (Stanley)
hey m, yeah that’s what I thought too because Dwight said right after, “Bears do not beat…wait what’s going on? what are you doing?”
and here’s mine for Michael: humorous, hopeless, attention hog
Creed craves cannabis constantly.
“Java Jitters drinking Junior.” Stanley’s daughter.
Kevin: Shredder. Scrantonicity. Sixty-nine.
Kelly: Clueless customer service chick
Meredith:
Littering, licentious, lovable lush.
Phyllis. Phallus. Pine. Personality.
Stanley: Coffee. Cranky co-worker. Crosswords.
Dwight: “D.” Dharma initiative. Dunderhead.
Party-pooping Pam Block. (Karen)
Kendall hating head honcho. (David Wallace)
I LOVE this!!! So we can only do one? I have four! Guess I’ll have to pick the best…
Okay, here’s my favorite: (I could A cappella as one word – hope that’s okay)
Andy
Anger. A-cappella. Angela’s adversary.
Pam: Pretty. Preppy. Personal assistant.
Ed Truck: Cold. Careless. Capa Detated
aw..man. why do i have to live in canada?
Angela
Bobblehead. Birkenstocks. Baby Jazz.
Jim: Devilish. Dwight doppelganger. Lovestruck.
Jan Levinson-Gold – Beautiful.Bossy.Boob Job.
Kevin: Apathetic, Animalizing, Anal Fissure-Ridden Accountant.
(FYI-Animalize is a verb tense of the word pervert. I thought it fit perfectly for our favorite accountant.)
Andy: Saucy singing sumo sycophant.
I like to think that when Andy was floating in the lake, he comforted himself by singing “S.O.S” by Sting/the Police.
Darryl :
Dauntless, Deadpan, Dinkin Flicka
finally a contest that is doable for me!
oh wait.
i’m canadian.
bitter nameless northern neighbor (me)
Angela: Christian, cat crazed accountant.
fancy, fiery, funeral planner. [Pam]
Welding, Women’s Clothes Wearer.
(Michael)
Mooch. Musician. Mung beans. (Creed)
hahAHAH Damian’s “Ed Truck” one is THE BEST.
DAMIAN TO WIN
Todd Packer: Michael’s Bald, Bigoted, BFF
Mine shall be…
Pam: Courageous Confident Confessions. (:
Pam:
Messages. MySpace. Mixed Berry.
Dwight:
Pontiac. Pervert. Paintball Tutor.
Angela – Party Planning Committee perfectionist
I love yours, TobyFan! It’s friggin’ hysterical!
Here’s my ANDY BERNARD Dunder-Ku:
Rockin’ Robin Ringtone Bearer
Vodka Salesman:
Mister Sideburns sells spirits.
TMI
Try my googi googi
That’s what she said
Michael Scott
Michael: What. When. Why. Toby…..
Kevin: Police, Poker, Jim protector
Alpha male / Amish / ARM / Dwight Schrute
Pam Pining Practical Joker
Ooops! Pam pining practical joker (Jim of course)
oops, i messed up punctuation. Here is a re-do..
Michael: What?! When? Why??? Toby…
Chunky-eating childish charmer. (Michael)
Andy–The Anxious, Acappella Singing Antagonist
Compiles children’s cornhusk dolls. (Dwight)
Kelly Cheeky Chatty Chick
Win-Win-Win negotiator. (Michael)
Coward. Comedian. Comb over (Michael)
Ryan: Callow. Cavalier. Corporate office.
This is so much fun. There are so many possibilities!
Casino. Creed. Chips stolen.
Jim: Lanky. Likeable. Lovesick Jokester
Cantankerous controlling cryptic vixen. (Angela)
I know it says one character, but I don’t listen.
Perfect pranking pair.
Jim & Pam
Crazy. Counterfeiter. Chicken soup. (Creed)
Creed: Crook. Cannabis. Clueless Flasher.
meredith: loving liquodator of liquor
meredith: loving liquidator of liquor
(different email address, more current)
thanks…sorry for the mix up
Angela stern secret sabotage
haha i love candydish’s creed.
how about
Jealous. Jock. Jet skis. (Roy)
ok this one won’t count since i already submitted, but can i still post it (it’s alliterative when said aloud)?
Naughty. Knickers. 99% sure. (ben franklin)
Drunk. Divorced. Definitely inappropriate. (Meredith)
Homeless, Haircut, Sexy, Hot
Pam Pong Please Jim
that was in honor of season three
One for Roy:
Pammy, Pushy, Proud.
One for Pam:
Improved, Illustrative, Influencing.
One for Dwight:
Merciless, Mordor, Man Meat.
One for Kevin:
Accountant, Anal Fissures, Angela anger.
Sad Eyed Scene Stealer (Toby – gotta love him)
Ooops didn’t see the one per person this is my favorite:
Dwight:
Merciless, Mordor, Man Meat.
Scarn’s Sandals Jamaica Sebring (Michael)
Andy: Big Tuna. Big Turkey. Big Haircut. Big Temper.
Laughable Leader’s Lady Clothes (Michael)
Angela: Anal. Secretive. Sandwich Sabotage.
Merideth:
Drunkard Desperate for Dates
Sad, sumo, sailor adrift (Andy)
Creed: Strange. Stealing. Swing Low.
Videotapes. Vodka. Voluptuous Job. (Jan)
Fried foot; Foreman grill. (Michael)
Decided Dwight deserved it.
(Steve, the vending machine guy)
Michael, the Nonplussed Narcissistic Nincompoop
Forewarned! Fearsome Father Approaching. (for Ryan, regarding Stanley)
Incalculacable. Improv. Ipod giver. (Michael)
Jim:
Pam loving Paper Pusher
Pranks…Promotion…Pam Beesly (for Jim)
Michael Scott:
Crass. Comedic. Collar-blind.
Open to ovaries. Ole! (Oscar)
Michael:
Condo. Convertible. Comic Relief.
Dunce. Dingo Babies. Double-fudge brownies.
Stanley: Pretzel-lovin’ Puzzle Person.
Yearning, Yogurt lid, “Yes”.
(Pam)
For Roy:
Fired, furious former-fiance
Proper, Prickly, Party Planner. (Angela)
Cornell. Choir. Copy Cat.
(Andy)
Sexy Hot Haircut Halpert
callofduty, that was hilarious.
Humorous. Heartwrenching….Halpert (Jim)
Bar, Beers, Buzzed, Bejesus Annoyer!!!!!
Andy Bernard
Homeless. Vampire. Rock Star. (Creed)
Sorry about that first one…I accidentaly hit “enter.”
Jim: Adorable. Awesome. Admired by all.
Chimps. Canada. Creed thoughts.
Oi! I just noticed that my Dunder-ku has 5 words! So sorry! Here is my final, edited version:
Jim: Awesome. Adorable. Ask Pam.
I just realized mine was 5 words!!! Dang it!
Let’s try this…
Bar, Beers, Buzzed, Bejesus-Annoyer! – Andy Bernard
Beyonce. Bananas. Babies.
Kelly
Pam. Pranks. Peanut Butter & Jelly.
Delayed Dunder dating pair. (Jim & Pam)
Unshunned by Schrute. Shawsome!
Mung Bean Munching Maniac.
Creed.
Defending, from future faxes.
Paperclips. Pranks. Playing solitaire. (for Pam)
Shrute’s shrewd sugar mama. (Angela)
Count Chocula chomping citizen. – Dwight
Open. Only her. Once. (Casino Night)
Michael: deuce-dropping debonair.
Katy. Karen. Obstacles kicked.
Man, if only I read the rules… (affixes dunce cap firmly upon own head)
Erase those and I’ll submit this one:
F stands for fudge. (Todd F Packer)
Sorry, Jennie. :)
tanster, I know we can only do one and I know these don’t count since I already posted, but I was so bored and I love this contest! I couldn’t resist! Here are my other unnofficial Dunder-kus just for fun:
Meredith- Van. Vodka. Bat victim.
Angela- Pam Pong Player Extraordinaire.
Jim- Prankster Pining for Pam.
Toby- Divorced. Defeated. Devil’s Butthole.
Creed- Steal. Sixties. Death Smell.
Dwight- Menstruate. Mordor. Mose’s cousin.
Pam(and Jim)- Reception. Rejection. Finally Reunited.
Pam: Hearts Halpert Hugs n’ Kisses.
Stanley the Manley: pretzel day puzzle ponderer.
Coffee. Corporate. Cheesy Pita.
Ryan Howard.
Brownies. Bernie’s. Basketball Champion. (Kevin)
Fun contest Jennie ;o)
I know it’s supposed to be for only one character but there’s no Jim without Pam and vice versa so you could say in some ways JAM is a character in itself…
Crush… Eye Contact… Chemistry (JAM)
*Slight* revision to previous entry. Try this:
Delayed dating Dunder pair. (Jim & Pam)
(Thanks.)
Angela’s Amish practicing a-wipe (Dwight)
Andy:
Rageaholic. “Rockin’ Robin” ringtone.
Hey tanster – just ignore my last batch of illegal poems! I was a little over-enthusiastic! I promise to obey the rules from now on!
Rejected. Rebounded. Receptionist Saved.
I LOVE JAM!!
Meredith
Martini. Mammary flasher. Mother.
Here are my first drafts:
Recreational Routes to Receptionist (Jim)
Taboids. Talkative. Temp-lover. (Kelly)
Sorry, StBernard. I just saw yours and realized mine overlapped it. I’ll try another
Pam:
Dwight’s assistant? Ally? Absolutely!
Jim. Hot. Hotdog fingers.
Actually it should read:
Angela’s Amish A-wipe (Dwight)
Bitter. Belligerent. Ungrateful. Bee-yotch
Mrs. Allen (from Product Recall)
Dwight:
Strict, Superior, Volunteer Sheriff
Michael:
Kinky. Kooky. King of forwards.
Pam:
Sensitive. Smart. Jim’s sweetheart.
Kevin: Sixty-nine, sixty-nine, sixty-nine. Smirk.
Lovelurn’s Lonely Locks (Pam)
Meredith:
Booze. Bore. Bad driver.
(James P. Albini):
Watermelon crushed car? covered.
Gay, game loving accountant.
(Oscar)
Silence. Staring. Schrute pranking. (Jim & Pam)
Silence. Staring. Schrute pranking. (Jim & Pam)
Martini. Mammary-flasher. Mother.
(Meredith)
Beets, Beard, Best Cousin
-Mose
Prejudiced. Profane. Prison Mike. (Michael)
Hard. Heartless. Dwight’s Hooker. (Angela)
Drunk. Desperate. Drives Minivan. (Meredith)
Dumped. DUI. Angry Dude. (Roy)
Unloving. Unmarried. Now Unemployed. (Roy)
Wallflower. Waiting. Fire Walker (Pam)
Supervisor. Sexy. Stretch Pants (Jan)
Michael: World’s Best Boss. BOOBS!
Laughable “little kid lover.”
(Michael)
(Jim’s perfect life) Beesly. Basketball. Big Tuna.
Shat’s shat she said.
Anal,angry,alpha kitten (Angela)
Tiny Dundee Dancer Douche.
oh, and that was for dwight. because he won a dundee (of course), because Andy called him a douche, and because michael sang ‘tiny dancer’ at the dundees.
Mistaken, misinterpreted, missed.
Jim Halpert
Fancy, Fighting-For Beesley.
ah i thought my other was deleted! sorry jennie.
warmhearted (deep down), weird, whatchamacallit: Michael
Police. Proposals. Paper Shredder. (Kevin)
Kevin: Hateball. Hero. Heat 69.
Andy: Sabotage. Sandwich. Sumo. Sorry.
Oscar: Gil. Gaycation. Great Settlement.
Dwight: Sheriff. Subordinates. Schrute Bucks.
Dwight: Monkeylover. MarijuanaHater. Mozart’s Friend.
Dwight: Samuel Chang. Cookie. Coals.
Dwight: Battlestar Galactica. Gaydar. Griffendor.
Jan: Sandals Sun Princess Snapshot.
Ryan: Mufasa. Mexican Lemonade. Manager.
Carol: Condo. Cheerleader. Called Off.
Phyllis: Sports Bra. Bride. Blindsided.
Jim: Teapot. Transfered. Big Tuna.
Joined in Jestful Jamming.
(Jim and Pam–and everyone who loves them!)
miracle whip, meticulous, muted (most of the time)
Stanley Bo Banley
Rejected. Rebounded. Receptionist saved.
Jim Halpert
Great contest! Here’s my submission:
(Andy Bernard) Brownnoser. Broken brain. Buoyant!
Buzzed, Beer Me, Brownnoser
Andy or “Drew”
Gorgeous. Godzillary. No Gould.
Emotionally magnificent, magical manager.
Michael
Sixties. Shameless. Semi-fired. (Creed)
Consistently crazy, corporate kleptomaniac (Creed)
Overly portly. Perverted. Percussionist. (Kevin)
Distraught, Dementor-dodging delinquent.
(Prison Mike)
Pudge.Patch.Possibly Madge.
(Madge from the warehouse)
Tenderfoot temp turned corporate. (Ryan)
Pasty pita eating pyro. (Ryan)
My official submission:
Pennsylvania’s preeminent party captain. (Captain Jack)
My others:
Bearded cousin befriends beets. (Mose)
Peddling purses. Perturbing Pam. (season 1 Katy)
Ditched Gould; dating dope. (Jan)
(and for you JAM lovers out there…)
Pray…pretend…Pam Halpert. (Pam)
Schrute, Sensitive, Soap Whittler (Mose)
Short. Snarky. Schrute-lover.
Pencils. Pretzels. Postponed retirement. (Stanley)
Dunder. Darryl. Dinkin Flicka.
I’m not trying to pull an Andy here but:
Cool… Consistent… Commendable Host (Tanster)
My actual one for this contest is:
Crush… Eye Contact… Chemistry (JAM)
Obsequious, over-achieving, ornery (at times) -Dwight
Imposing. Ignorami. Ivy League. (Andy)
Pam – Andy Bernard’s Brain Breaker
Michael Scott: Magical Man Meat Manager
Choral. Choler. Cornell graduate (Andy)
Another fun contest! Thanks, tanster. Here’s my submission:
Brief. Brave. Beach Speech. (Pam)
Third season Jim:
changes: hair cut, cockiness.
Jim:
Romantic. Rejected. Ridiculous dork.
Lonely Little Kid Lover
– Michael
Radiant, resilient receptionist. Taken.
(Pam)
I probably missed the deadline, because I always do, but here goes:
Jam, the jinxing jokers
I made the time limit! Anyways, forgot to say who Jam, the jinxing jokers are. Can a dunder-ku include two people anyway? Well, mine is Jim and Pam obviously. If it can’t include two, then my back-up is:
Dorky, dim witted Dwight
Angela:
Displeased. Disciplined. “Da Vinci Code” hater.
Bat!
Bonto.
Bobblehead Joe.
(Dwight)
I know I’m only supposed to enter once, but I’m having too much fun!
Fancy. Flonkerton. Fire-walker. (Pam)
Perverted, pretentious, paper manager-Michael’s bad side
Caring, Comedic, Chrysler driver.-His good side.
Mom. Minivan. Malt liquor.
(Meredith)
Divorced, Dull, but Dear.
-Toby
Against Michael, Meloncholy, Monotone
-Toby
Bleep button bleep button. (Todd Packer)
Delightfully duped and dumped (Karen)
Beard Boat Beasts = Evan Baxter
Oops !
Dead. Designer coffin. Duet. (the bird)
Birkenstock bumping bat killer (Dwight)
Creed’s Concealed Cannabis Stash
Contrived, convicted, conflicted, stereotyped. (“Prison” Mike).
Prankster’s poignant promise. Absolutely.
Silence. Staring. Schrute pranking. (Pam & Jim)
Dwight:
Determined. Defense. Deadly. Jackhammer.
Prudish Pam-Pong Perceiver
-Angela
Sumo. Singing. Suck Up. (Andy)
Pam. Pretendinitis. “Progidal Son.” (Jim)
Keds. Kettles. Killer Nanorobots. (Pam)
Cute. Cuddly. Consummate prankster.
(Jim)
Shrewd, lasertagging sempai shunner.
Natasha, this one is excellent!
“Mom. Minivan. Malt liquor.
(Meredith)”
Inept. Inarticulate. Inevitably Lovable.
– Michael Scott
Jim, jump Pam! Jam.
– Jam
Stretch pants sound scary.
– Jan
Perverse poster equals porn.
– Oscar
Pathetically patient punching bag.
– Toby
Alluring artist. Office amore.
– Pam
Dreamy, devilish hero. Delicious.
– Jim
Traitor temp turned corporate.
– Ryan
Clingy girlfriend gone. Goodbye.
– Karen
Gloss, glitter, gossip fanatic.
– Kelly
Bribed by fudge brownies.
– Kevin
Stuffy, stifling, sex fiend.
– Angela
Booze bag burnout mama.
– Meridith
Sticky fingers. Strange standards.
– Creed
Ok, I’m addicted… must… stop…. writing.
Buoyant breasts buy time. (Jan/Michael relationship)
for Michael…
Bacon, boobs, booze cruise.
Bob’s Flonkerton-finishing female (Phyllis)
Hungry hippie hoarding money (Creed)
Drew duped Schrute? Dawsome!
Money beets. Mose. Mace.
MBA’s make more money.
Laying seeds. Sowing soil.
Shunned schmo schruted it!
Andy “Drew” Bernard
Judgemental jealous Jim-hater (Angela)
Not Normal Number Two’s. (Creed)
Pink. Possessive. Princess Diana.
Pink. Possessive. Princess Diana. (Kelly)
sorry!
Pepper Spray Purple Belt Pervert (bobblehead joe)
Dreams, Demure, Dental Hydroplosion. (Pam)
Breakfast bacon burns foot.
Michael
Charming. Caring. Capable. Handsome. (Jim)
Tanster, this contest has been so fun! Great idea! People are so creative. I’ve laughed out loud many times. Have fun trying to narrow down the finalists!
cool. calm. crossword puzzles (stanley)
noodles. nnnnnice. sixty nine. (kevin)
mischievous. misleading. mung beans. (creed)
sixty-nine. scrantonicity. sweaty feet. (kevin)
Condescending. Cantakerous. Cat-Lady. (angela)
For Creed Bratton:
Woodstock. Word Doc. Widow.
Reluctant, resentful, wet ring-bearer. (Michael Scott)
My computer counts “ring-bearer” as one word; I hope you do, too. If not, please use the one below as my submission. Thanks!
Married. Matronly. Mother Goose. (Phyllis Lapin Vance)
Pom-poms. Proposed to. Passed. (Carol)
Make-up. Married. Metropolitan Orlando. (Phyllis)
Dimples dumped Dunder-Mifflin. (Josh)
Oops! Dunder Mifflin isn’t hyphenated! Re-entry!
Dimples dumped Dunder Mifflin. (Josh)
(Michael)
sub-par schoolgirl video star
(Jan)
makes Sybil seem sane
(Creed)
world wide WORD blogger
(Phyllis)
fridge’s first lady. Flonkerton!
(Andy)
sumo buoy sets sail